Turning “Have to’s” into “Want to’s”
Monday’s are my “Have To” days.
I have to:
- Clean the house from the weekend
- Plan my week’s dinner menu
- Go grocery shopping
- Get dinner started
- DO THE LAUNDRY (I only do it once a week, so it is BIG)
- Return emails
- Work on the website
- Pick up kids
- Run them to practices
- Etc.
- Etc.
I know you all have the same list of “Have To’s.” And many times, these “to do’s” feel like obligations looming over out heads. They can feel stressful and all-consuming. We can forget to live life and enjoy ourselves because there is so much we “have” to do.
We feel controlled by our responsibilities and that BITES.
When our obligations begin to send our energy in a downward spiral, it is time to STOP. Realize that you don’t HAVE to do anything. Everything is a CHOICE. That laundry can wait! So why do you do it? You choose to because it is a sign of love and care for your family.
I choose to clean my house (because I want an inviting, comfortable space for my family)
I want to plan my dinners (because I care about what my children eat)
I want to go to the grocery store (because I love having fresh food in the house)
I choose to do the laundry (because I love my kids to look cute and clean)
Doesn’t that FEEL different? By just using the word “want to” or “choose to” it shifts everything. It feels lighter. You feel more in control. It feels more loving. It feels giving rather than taking from us.
So, the next time you make a list, instead of titling it “TO DO” write at the top “GET to do” or “WANT to do” or “CHOOSE to do.”
And, by all means, if you don’t want to do it, then don’t. It is ok to let things go sometimes. We all need those days off.
I’m looking forward to another week with you all! Now, I “GE TO” show love for my family through some nice, clean laundry :)
Happy Monday!
This is a daily exercise for me, Lina. I love serving my family through this stuff — even though it might sound hokey to say so. :)
I envy you that it comes so naturally. I have to write these article to remind myself (and hopefully remind and help others along the way!) Because, girl, there are days when they feel like obligations!!!
I see we are both wanting to be darling while we want to be industrious!
Checking off my lists, want to grocery shop for fresh veggies now!
pve
And I CAN’T WAIT to make the beds! :)
I needed to hear that today!!
Sound like you had lots of “opportunities” today :) Hope you had fun with them!!!
LOVE your thinking, my friend. Switching little words in our brain can make a huge impact in our attutides.
When I was a recruitter and training people how to be interviewed for a job, I always suggested saying “worked with”, instead of “dealt with”. The latter sounds so negative, which is the last thing you want to sound like when trying to get a job.
It’s so easy to trap ourselves with “Have to”s, isn’t it? I remind myself, all the time, that “Get to” is a privelage denied to many. I like your lists – and want to remind you that not only are you a great mom in wanting (and getting) to do those things for your family, but you are doing them for YOU too! :)
I’m headed to Austin on a much needed vacation later this week, so in the next three days, I GET TO:
- drop off / pick up dry cleaning
- see Helga the Hot Waxer
- Take Advil (see above)
- shop for healthy snacks for the plane
- prep my food for the overtime at work (a.k.a. NO snack machine for dinner)
- squeeze a nail appointment in
- cover my roots (gray? what gray?)
- get in five days of cardio/wight training before flight
- laundry, laundry, laundry
- pay all bills before vacation so I’m not worried about it when I get home
Happy Monday and belated MOMMY’S DAY! I hope you’re blasting your favorite music while doing your housework. It really makes it much more FUN. :)
I just love your comments because I feel like we just had a conversation. Now I know you wax (I’m still to lazy), have gray hair (I like to call mine “white”), and are going on a kick ass trip! I have always wanted to go to Austin, so I can’t wait to hear all about it! Have am amazing, realizing, inspiring time!
And, I DID blast the music today. And listened to a book on tape. All my tricks to making cleaning fun!
so right. i have long said i needed a laundry folding meditation, to find a way to um, hate (yes, i said that) it less. i have worked at it and found that laundry folding is when i notice the growth of my kids most. the time when i decide that my son’s socks should now be my daughters and that it’s time for him to get new ones. it’s when i notice that my pants and my son’s are not so far apart in size at all (gulp). it’s when i decide that certain things are too stained to keep and have to put them in the trash, but then put something on TOP of them in the trash so i don’t see the well loved t-shirt that i can picture my daughter in again and again, mixed with discarded plastic baggies. i have found that my laundry folding is more a meditation than i thought. and so yes, as you have stated, it becomes a want to, a get to. i realize that when it’s all old lady underwear i will miss folding tiny socks and t shirts and finding weird, inexplicable things in my son’s pockets ;)
You said it so well, I should have had you write it! I use laundry day the same way :) I is especially poignant when I am sorting a shirt or pair of pants that used to by my oldest, but now is my youngest and I marvel that my big 12-year-old was ever that little and innocent. My oldest now can wear my shoes (although he chooses not to) It is crazy! Thanks for the great insight. I love the way you put it.