Summer Employee Hell
I am an awesome CEO of ME.
I know what needs to get done, and I get it done. And I get it down well.
I have goals, intentions, vision and dedication.
These little employees, however, are reeking havoc on my business plan. How is a CEO of ME supposed to get anything done with needy employees? If I hear “I’m hungry”, “I’m bored”, or “I’m out of clothes” one more time, I may have to fire someone.
My inability to manage my subordinates effectively is effecting my work, and gosh darn it, that makes me cranky.
Are there any other CEOs out there with similar HR issues? Let me sum mine up for you:
- Noisy employees that follow me around the house.
- Irritable employees that don’t want to wake up early for work.
- Demanding employees that want homemade smoothies and Mary Poppins-like bike rides and board games.
- High maintenance employees who need to be driven to all their meetings.
- Lazy employees who leave their projects all over the office.
- And immature employees who work out their issues by yelling, crying, hitting, and occasionally spitting.
The effect of these HR matters on ME productivity is staggering.
- I can’t get anything done
- I know I have a million things to do, but I walk around the house cluelessly
- I have a constant feeling I’ve forgotten something
- I have a hard time scheduling in time to write and work
- I cry at schmaltzy commercials (oh, wait, maybe that’s hormones)
- And I sometimes question why I have employees in the first place
How do the mothers (slash) workers (slash) entrepreneurs (slash) wives (slash) CEO of ME’s out here do it?!? Are you getting your work done? How about fitting in your love/passion?
I think I’m going to have to put a lock on my door, and a sign that reads “OUT TO WORK – REFER ALL HR ISSUES TO DAD!”