Summer Employee Hell
I am an awesome CEO of ME.
I know what needs to get done, and I get it done. And I get it down well.
I have goals, intentions, vision and dedication.
These little employees, however, are reeking havoc on my business plan. How is a CEO of ME supposed to get anything done with needy employees? If I hear “I’m hungry”, “I’m bored”, or “I’m out of clothes” one more time, I may have to fire someone.
My inability to manage my subordinates effectively is effecting my work, and gosh darn it, that makes me cranky.
Are there any other CEOs out there with similar HR issues? Let me sum mine up for you:
- Noisy employees that follow me around the house.
- Irritable employees that don’t want to wake up early for work.
- Demanding employees that want homemade smoothies and Mary Poppins-like bike rides and board games.
- High maintenance employees who need to be driven to all their meetings.
- Lazy employees who leave their projects all over the office.
- And immature employees who work out their issues by yelling, crying, hitting, and occasionally spitting.
The effect of these HR matters on ME productivity is staggering.
- I can’t get anything done
- I know I have a million things to do, but I walk around the house cluelessly
- I have a constant feeling I’ve forgotten something
- I have a hard time scheduling in time to write and work
- I cry at schmaltzy commercials (oh, wait, maybe that’s hormones)
- And I sometimes question why I have employees in the first place
How do the mothers (slash) workers (slash) entrepreneurs (slash) wives (slash) CEO of ME’s out here do it?!? Are you getting your work done? How about fitting in your love/passion?
I think I’m going to have to put a lock on my door, and a sign that reads “OUT TO WORK – REFER ALL HR ISSUES TO DAD!”
I told my employees not to ‘ask’ me for ANYTHING for two hours…that worked for about 10 minutes. ;-)
10 minutes. That’s pretty good. I bet they wanted food. It is ALWAYS food!!!
Always food ;-)
Oh, the JOY of Summer! Being an “Auntie”, I’d offer my services to take them off your hands for some Team Building Morale Days (a.k.a. get out of the house and away from you, leave you alone…) but I’m too far away.
Seriously, I feel your pain, as my BFF Becky is right there with you. I do offer up my time and she jumps at the chance. But her stress levels day in and out are off the charts some days. Dad works full time, and she’s a stay home CEO of the family. NO sick days, NO days off, you know the drill. It’s maddening.
Is there a way you and your other CEOs (mommys) can have an executive management meeting (get together with cheese and wine) to think of some solutions? Maybe a rotation where you give one mom a coupe hours break by taking the group to the park, swimming, a movie etc? Then just rotate, so everyone has a chance to breathe?
I’m not a parent, so I can only imagine how incredibly challenging this is. I’ve been called a CCO, before, but that’s a whole nuttha Oprah.
Hang in there, honey. And remember. I’ve got Vodka.
OMG, if you lived here I would SO throw my children at you!
You know, I’ve broken this down in my head and here is the real deal…I can (and do!) hire sitters to help. So, I get breaks and time to myself to get out of the house and run errands and stuff. But really, what I want, is my house to myself! I LOVE being in my house when it is clean and quiet. I love that. I want these little buggers to leave at 8am and come back at 3pm…oh, wait, that is called school.
August 16 you are my Christmas.
And I’ll take that shot of Vodka.
I feel your pain. At the risk of frustrating you even further, I have a thought….what if you stopped trying to get things accomplished and just gave in? Accepted that the summer is all about kid craziness and not about anything productive? Not that I could ever do this, mind you, but it sounds good in theory. =)
Oh, I’ve given up alright. Notice how I haven’t posted hardly anything and it takes me two days to reply to comments???
Hallelujah! Yes, I feel this way too. I even offer VERY generous bonus structures almost daily…to no avail. Sometimes I think my ‘employees’ are smarter than me. They can sure negotiate a hell of a lot better (or at least longer). Let’s take another smoothie break sometime soon!
I like the idea of a bonus structure. Brilliant! Like bribing with candy or the TV to be QUIET? I wonder if that would work…